COLD HEART OF HER

COLD HEART OF HER

Can’t remember the first time I heard the words
it was absurd, and sure a little bias from people telling her
that I was not good for her, "that guy is too controlling"
but you'd want to know the story if ya girl was pole dancing
in the bars when you weren’t there.. how dare that bitch stare
in my eyes and try and tell me i was the one who didn’t care
5 years of my life shared devoting all my moments
took you to my moms in cali and now you went an blown it
how could you say your never happy, what a crock of shit
all your first times were with me..fun, we had a lot of it
it couldn’t be just in my mind, why the f**ck you gotta lie
its just my luck i try for perfect and end up alone..feel like i could die
you played me for my patience, cant even drive in my car
break up songs on the radio stations, saying goodbye will be hard
but somewhere out there is a girl who will understand...
who will want kids and marriage, and walks while holding hands
a girl who likes the quiet, to share our peace alone
who wont fight despite our differences, but share a seat in our home
so f**ck you bitch.. f**ck you to the death of me
f**ck you for ever saying you loved me.. u made me believe
but love wouldn’t having you choosing shit that went against me
id kill you if the bars of jail wouldn’t imprison me
ill never forget the cold heart of my first love.. it was my

Uppin.. No feedz Lol??

this was a decent read for me.. flow was a little bit of chopy at some places but the imagery worked here..Like some multies would have made it a dope read.. nevertheless good shit, Enjoyed reading

thanx for feeds bro.. uppin

some places seemed a bit streched although they weren't. but the read was intresting. You did maintained your consistency in this piece and brought up the substance all together with your own creativity. Good Read
Rated 7.5/10

cool song you written there boy, gotta get on it. Lets hear it when done

nice shit. nothing special tho. I cud hear this on a nice emotional beat

okay, this one starts good, but then you fell off slowly and slowly..everyting is on point, not real creative storylines to it but the overall texts represents the topic well. nice read..
i'll give this a
a
a
7/10

Ok...checkin...nice imagery here..i liked flow despite in some places it was a bit stressed for me.rhymins schemes were ok for me and u could have used even more multies to make this shit flow even better.decent piece of art..keep up the good work..