My 16 bars_keystyle

when it comes to real hip hop most are oblivous
the mainstream bullshit turning people into degenerates
its ridiculous,makes me furious,and ill tempered
im illuminated shining bright like the big dipper
you shiver and quiver cause you got a cold heart
i be rippin muthafuckas apart right from the start
smoke some green,kick a freestyle,then depart
with words painting masterpeices,hip hop is an art
yall mc's are amateur spittin when im lyricaly advance
most step up but get shut down like power plants
leave you in a trance break beats make you wana dance
a b-boy stance,your rhymes better than mine there is a small chance
pen like a lance striking the parchment
too many dudes with gets running up in apartments
stealing money,jewlery,and maybe garments
seems heartless,im a lyrical villian and this pen is my acomplice
most rappers are talking nonsense
rapping about how money they got
shit aint hot so stop!
in tip top lyrical shape
these bars are ones you cant escape
racism still resides,kkk hangin blacks like drapes
it's sad makes me mad to see anyone being treated with unjustic
cause ruckus,my mouth is a gun and i be bustin
your feelings im touchin i believe your thoughts mean somethin
on green im puffin.taking the big hits
droppin the rhymes that are fresh like listerine strips
rappers are not pimps,like terrance howard in hustle and flow
yall might not now but our government is also hustilin snow
stop and go,i stop to show you my rhymes
one of a kind,im out of this world like the movie signs
innocent doing time in prison
listen...
im tickin like a bomb and you cant cut the red wire
chillin,bobbin my head to pharoahe monch's album desire
i aquire lines that are fire and are allways burning
knowledge is forever so your allways learning
allways yearning for some new talib kweli tracks
there all crack
lil wayne actin like hes all that
art of freestyle movie,hell yeah i saw that
bounce back like a cheetah,catch me smokin reefa
or talking about conspiracies to all the none believas
yes,fresh like a package thats never been opened
a legend is born in 1971,then 25 years later a casket closin
hip hop staying alive,i stay hopin
im not jokin...

cool

nice one tho you need better consistency you deviated a bit but since this a keysyle its straight